Ready

There are certain things in life that simply must be done, whether or not you want to do them. This could mean the laundry or the dishes. Or letting someone go.

I'm realizing that nothing I say or do can change the circumstances I've found myself in. The only solution is to let it go. I'm not ready for that. I want nothing more than to cling to the memory of past happiness and torture myself in the here-and-now. But that's just going to make both of us unhappy. If he decides to forgo his own happiness for mine, I'll still be unhappy, knowing that he's unhappy and I'm the reason.

So I figure, its time to quit while I'm ahead, so to speak. I'm bracing myself for the inevitable pain, much like one squints before ripping off a band-aid. The longer I wait, the more downhill things will go, and the sicker I'll get.

But what kills me, is the notion that he can just...fall out of love with me so quickly. He says when he looks into my eyes he doesn't feel it anymore. When he looked at me this morning and said "I guess I'm just not in love with you anymore", I knew that there was no way to make this work.

I just wish I knew what made him fall out of love so quickly, and without regret.