Cracked

It has come to my attention that Eric and I are indeed, not broken up. We are simply on a break. I did not know this, until last night.

I want to know how I could possibly not know something like that.

Anyways, I suppose that information is very reassuring. I mean, it is. He told me that he'd come back, and that he wasn't looking for anyone else. I informed him that I would not be waiting around forever.

I think I'm adjusting quite well, actually. I haven't had any more panic attacks, and I did eat something yesterday.

I think I'm going to take this break as an opportunity to do things by myself, and with friends, where I used to rely on Eric. I'm thinking of going for Japanese food. I've never tried sushi, and I'd like to. Also, I would like to take some sort of dance lesson in the future. Perhaps bellydance, or maybe salsa or swing dance. The only thing about the last two is I think you need a partner. Maybe Sarah would want to learn to do dances with me. We would make awesome lesbians, let me tell you. Haha.

In other news, I still haven't written that 1 act play I needed to have done by last Tuesday, for creative writing. I'm doing really poorly this semester, and I'm worried. I think as long as I do well on all my exams, I should be fine in Sociology. I'm pretty sure I've mathematically failed Death & Dying. Creative writing could go in a few directions, mostly hinging on whether or not I finish (and start) this damned play. And, I'm fairly certain I've got a C average in my History of Vietnam class. I decided not to do the research paper, because I don't think it would help my grade at all. I suppose a C average isn't too bad. Not good, but its not like I'm failing.

I'm thinking of taking some classes online this summer, to keep me in the swing of things. I'm changing my program at MATC to business management. I'm figuring, if all else fails and I don't get into Central for whatever reason, I can at least persue something I really want to do.

As irrational as this sounds, I really do not want to get a degree in something semi-pointless and end up teaching for a few decades before I decide to go back to school and open my own business. I'm thinking, why don't I just do it now, while I'm young, and eliminate the middle man, so to speak. I've thought long and hard about what I can see myself doing for the rest of my life, and the only thing that comes to mind is coffee. I really love what I do at Starbucks, and I really would like to have my own cafe. And while it might sound stupid and irrational to some people to go ahead and do that while I'm young, I see it differently. Life is about taking risks and chances and seeing where things end up. I want to take this chance, this risk.

We'll see how everything turns out. I'm excited for summer, and warm weather, and seeing Sarah because I miss her like crazy (what is it now, like a week until you come home?). And for anyone wondering, I'm really doing okay.