Malls Are Not Sexy

All I can say is, Tony, I hope you get a laugh out of this one...

So...some interesting things happened at work today.

There was this couple full on making out in our cafe. Laura went out there and told them to knock it off, but then they didn't and then he put his hand like, up her shirt. They were just...standing in the cafe groping each other like animals.

Then some lady came up to the kiosk all worked up. Why? Was her drink wrong? No. Did it have anything to do with an intense dislike for all things Starbucks? no. So why did she come up yelling and panting? There was a used condom on one of the black leather chairs, right next to where a questionable-looking guy was sleeping. Yes readers, you saw that right. A USED CONDOM. That's worse when my cousin's fellow employees found used condoms in their bathroom (Panera's - DAMN that was a good bagel haha). This was in the MIDDLE of a MALL. A MALL. Wow.

Then, close to closing time, we noticed another teenage couple groping each other on the couches directly in front of the kiosk. It looked like he was eating her face. Seriously. And he was the skinniest, ugliest boy ever. She wasn't exactly a looker herself either... (I thought it was two boys...haha. They just had the same haircut. I think that makes it worse.)

What I'm trying to get at is, malls aren't sexy. Public sex can be hot, but for God's sake, in the middle of a VERY public mall? Go into the fitting rooms at the Gap or Victoria's Secret or something. Not only that, but if you're so preoccupied with sex that you cant possibly bear to find a more secluded location to dry hump...don't go to the mall in the first place. Nobody wants to see two 15 year olds slobber all over each other. Nobody.

Ew.