Connection

Moving day is technically today. In 8 hours. I'm too excited/anxious/nervous/scared to sleep. So here I am...writing a blog.

Pretty much everything in my room is packed away. It echoes a lot in here now. I don't like it.

As much as I'm excited to be out of my parents house, I'm like "Holy shit. I don't live here anymore as of tomorrow".

I don't wanna grow up.

Plus I will miss:

• My mom and dad's new 48" flat screen Hi def digital TV.
• High speed internet connection
• Not having to pay rent
• Not having to buy my own food

Yeah, I won't have an internet connection at the apartment for who knows how long. Until we find a cheap internet connection, I guess. Eric wants cable and cable internet, but that's like $109 a month. As it is I can barely afford half the rent. What he fails to understand is: I DO NOT MAKE THAT MUCH MONEY. I'm lucky if a paycheck breaks $200. I have my review coming up on Tuesday, so I guess that means a raise. But still. So far I've paid for everything. He's paid for zip. He owes me. Haha. At least I'll always know where he's sleeping...

So just as I'm getting into the "blog everyday" habit, I'm going to have to cut myself off. Which I suppose is good, because I have a paper that needs to get done and it'll probably get done a lot quicker with no internet to distract me.

Tomorrow is going to suck. Hardcore. Or should I say hXc. Haha.

Wire

Its down to the wire: I have to have everything packed by 10 AM tomorrow morning. I'm getting up early to go with my mom to pick up the truck, then we're moving all the furniture and boxes we can stuff in the thing.

I can't believe that as of tomorrow afternoon, I won't live here anymore. Its really surreal. I'm not sure I like the idea yet. I mean sure, I like it, but you know...its just odd.

Thank the gods my mom is going to be boxing up the last of my stuff while I'm at work. I work 3-9:30, so that doesn't leave much time for the frantic throw-everything-in-a-box packing I have yet to do. The only catch is I have to get the boxes down from the attic. Which requires Eric. And Eric is always late. Always.

We're actually supposed to be at the laundromat by now, so we can both get the wash done before the move, but when I called to see if he was on his way, he was still in bed. IN BED. You have no idea how irritating that is. I'm sorry, but if I can get my ass up at 9 am and get my shit together, so can you. I understand that he works until 12, but he left early last night. And I understand that he has to pack, but hi, I was packing too. And I can still manage to get out of bed at 9 am to continue said packing. He doesn't seem to understand that while its 'okay' if he's late to work by 15 minutes without calling, I can get fired for that. Seriously.

Another side note: I'd like everyone's opinion. If you text someone 5 times a day with "what is up" and the person NEVER responds, would you get the hint and just STOP TEXTING that person? Because apparently it's a difficult concept to grasp.

Oi. He's almost here now, so I have to badger Devon into letting me into the attic. Bah.

Almost

I'm almost done packing. I just have to pack the rest of my closet, my desk, and all my clothes.

Maybe I'm about halfway done packing. That's like, almost, right? Haha.

We got the bed delivered today. Let me tell you, this is the most comfortable bed in the universe. It just begs for you to sleep on it. I would have napped on it but Eric forgot to lug over the comforter and the pillows. But he did remember my soy milk. Which reminds me, I have no soy milk at my parent's place. What am I going to eat for breakfast tomorrow? Maybe eggs...

I've been on a huge egg kick lately. In fact, I think I'm gonna make myself some right after this. Protein and all. Speaking of, I've made yet another dietary change. I've gone from vegetarian to pescaterian. Basically it means that I also eat fish in addition to my normal vegetarian diet. So I've been eating a lot of tuna lately. And I do very much enjoy Tuna Helper so I'm planning on picking up a box of that on Sunday. Now I'm hungry. Haha.

I need more boxes. For real.

Packing

We've finally started to move some of our stuff into our place today. It was crazy. But we did manage to buy a mattress. It's like sleeping on a cloud. We got a Simmons Beautyrest. And we got the normally $800 mattress set for $500, plus tax and delivery fee. So tomorrow I've gotta be down there by 10 am to wait for them to deliver the thing. Only problem is, I forgot to tell Eric to take apart his bed so I could set up the frame right away.

Now I'm beginning the daunting task of boxing up all of MY things. I've gotten two boxes full of nothing but shoes, I've got a box dedicated solely to purses, and one large box that contains only half of the contents of the closet. I'm gonna need more boxes. Actually, what I'd like to do is just steadily move the stuff from here to there so that I can re-use the boxes that I do have. I'm trying to avoid going up into the attic to grab more.

If all goes the way I plan, I'll be able to sleep there tomorrow night. Cross your fingers, folks.

Sprint

Is dumb. Seriously. I canceled my service because there was a problem with every single one of my bills. They kept overcharging me for stuff. Like unlimited texts. They neglected to put that on my plan four times in a row. Every month I went in and complained and argh.

Now, I'm having to call their customer service and resolve the issue except their systems are down.

So I have to call back sometime, only problem is, I don't have time. I have to spend today at work, then tomorrow I have off so I'm spending all day packing, and then tomorrow night I want to move the majority of my boxes to the new place (we pick up our keys today).

I have to find time to go mattress shopping with Eric, which is gonna be tough because of his work/sleep schedule. I also have to clean out Skit's tank, because he passed away.

And on top of all that, I have to write my multi-page essay for my History midterm. I have no idea when I'm going to be able to get that done, but it needs to be finished by Monday night.

Oh, and it just occurred to me that I'm going to have to allow much more time for walking to class. Or I could take the bus but that costs money that I honestly don't have. I think I may just buy a weekly bus pass.

I need to figure out some sort of budget, based on what I have to pay for rent, phone, and electric, plus an internet connection if we can afford it. Oh, and groceries. I wish my hours were more stable at work. I can't really give an accurate estimate of what my paychecks are going to amount to.

I'm very stressed. I really hope its not busy at work tonight, but it is still spring break for a lot of kids, and its supposed to be nice out tonight.

Shoot me. Please.

And Another Thing

I'm done doing/not doing things just because I'm afraid of someone else's expectations. I'm not going to do something that I don't want to just because I think that if I don't, someone will be mad. I'm not going to stop myself from doing something I want to because of some short-term consequence.

I woke up this morning and realized that unless I want to live a miserable life, I have to stop living for other people. I have to start living for me.

Hello, rest of my life.

Leasee

Today I signed the lease to my very own apartment. Well, Eric's and mine.

As excited as I want to be, I'm just looking at all the stuff we still have in front of us. Getting the power turned on, buying a bed, moving all of our crap, unpacking all of our crap. Hell, packing all my crap to begin with is gonna be an adventure.

It's giving me stomach aches.

But at least we have our own space now. Thank the gods.

Spring

Today is the first official day of my spring break. And its snowing. Snowing. I had heard that none of it would stick, but sticking it is. I also heard that in a worse case senario we'd get 7 inches. That is too much snow for March. The END of March, no less.

On Monday Eric and I are going to sign the papers for our first apartment. I'm very excited but also mostly terrified because I've never lived away from home. Little things are surprising me, like having to pay for electricity. I've never had to worry about that, we've sort of just always had it. (Obviously my parents took care of it.)

I'm getting more and more stressed out lately, I think because of worrying about money and stuff. Rent, security deposit, T-Mobile bill, Sprint bill (I still have to get the text charges off). Then I have to get the power turned on, look at our budget and see if we can afford an internet connection. Eric wants cable. Its just getting to be a lot to worry about. Not to mention the landlords.

The lady that called Eric said she'd be happy to rent us the apartment and that we could move our stuff in before April 1. She said we she just needed me to fill out an application as well, so that she could run my credit info and all of that. So we called them the day we were supposed to go down there and sign all the papers, and the guy that answered was a total jerk about it. He kept telling Eric that he looked like a "partier" and that he tried to convince the lady not to rent to us.

We are not party people. Eric works 50 + hours a week, and I work an average of 30 hours a week plus I go to school full time. I'd love to have time to have a party. But no such luck. I mean, to be honest, the only party I have in mind involves Tupperware.

So basically it was a huge hassle dealing with him. I think he might have changed his mind when he talked to us, but still. If they had denied us the place based solely on the fact that we're young, I definitely would have brought some sort of lawsuit. That's illegal! Jeez.

But we did get it all sorted out, and Monday around noon we're supposed to go down there again to sign everything and hopefully get the keys so that we can move some stuff in. I mean I understand it not being immediate, because they have to install a new fridge and shampoo the carpets. So hopefully we'll have everything settled in by the 1st.

And now I have to go get ready to trudge through the frozen tundra that is Wisconsin, so I can catch the bus in time for work. Ugh.

Family

I have to go to class in a couple minutes, but I just need to write some of this down.

I'm really jealous of everyone out there that has a good relationship with both of their parents. You know, your dad taught you important things about life, your mom was always there for you. And now, as an adult, you can laugh and smile and have that special relationship.

I will never know what that is like.

My family is pretty messed up. My father and mother broke up when I was about 2, and when I was 6 my mom married Joel, my stepdad. For the most part, I neither got a long with nor remotely liked Joel. And my father...well, he's got a ton of issues. My mother and I have always been close, but she's really not your conventional mother-type. Lets just say she's got issues too.

I don't even know what I'm trying to say here. I guess this is a case of "the grass is always greener on the other side". But even if you don't get along with your parents all the time, I really urge you to at least appreciate that they are there. I'll never have my dad be my dad. Two nights ago I basically told my stepdad to get out of my life, because he's a poisonous individual. I don't know.

Its just something I've been thinking about.

Instead

Alright so, tomorrow I have a 5 page short story due. Not to mention the character sketch I completely forgot about that was due last Thursday. I haven't written one single word. I'm just...uninspired, I suppose. I mean, there are a million things in my head that I could write about but nothing that will turn into a 5 page short story. Or a character sketch.

I may have found an apartment for Eric and I. We're still looking at other places too, but this, this is the one. We've sent in the application and Eric is going to do a follow up call on either Thursday or Friday. So anyone out there, cross your fingers for us. Because this place is perfect. But if we don't get it, we're still looking for something to fall back on. Because believe me, I may kill someone if I stay in this house much longer.

I also joined another swap on craftster, the Going Green swap. I'm really excited about it, but I haven't actually started making anything yet. Sendouts are April 14, I believe. It could be sooner. It probably is. All I know is I'm procrastinating. Well, my goal is to start in on something once spring break starts on Thursday. Ahhh my Creative Writing midterm is also on Thurs. Holy cow where did the time go? I could swear it was January like last week.

I really really should be writing a short story right now. I'm halfway tempted to just tweak a previous story and use that...but that's technically academic dishonesty. I really have no idea what to write about. I had the PERFECT idea while I was walking home from class. But then CSI:Miami was on. And I had to watch that while I ate my delicious vegetarian baked beans. And now I'm blogging about absolutely nothing. I could totally be writing right now. I'm lacking inspiration. The thing I'm dreading most is dialogue. I'm so so bad at dialogue. (And according to Firefox, dialogue should be spelled dialog. Wow.)

I should go...I think I may have an idea...Maybe.

Or maybe I'm going to play some random stupid game online.
Or maybe I'm going to clean my room up a bit.
In any case, I'll be up till at least 3 doing this stupid short story. Remind me again why I took this class? Ugh.

Eternity

For those of you who read my blog and don't know already, my grandpa passed away last night. I was told it was very peaceful.

And as I struggle with the fact that I can't picture him sick (I never got to visit him, it was just a surgery that kept going wrong...), I keep thinking he's just going to be at my grandma's house next time I go to visit. He isn't.

Last night, Eric came over and let me cry on him. He asked me, in my religion, what happens when people die? They go to the summerlands, and rest and wait for reincarnation. That comforts me, because I know he's in a much better place right now. I know he'll be able to live life again if he so chooses. But what I got to wondering is, what if it isn't that at all?

My grandpa was Lutheran. They believe in heaven and angels and all of that. So maybe that's where he is right now.

Eric is an Atheist. He believes that when you die, you're dead and that's that. No afterlife. So maybe that's how it goes down.

In all honesty, I don't know. I can't tell anyone one way or another. All I can do is take comfort in what I believe to be true, and respect everyone else's beliefs as well.

Brett

It's all over the news: Brett Favre has retired from the Green Bay Packers. I would like to take this opportunity to say:

I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK!

Seriously. If I get ONE more e-mail or message about "OMG did you hear about Brett?" I'm going to stab someone with a GB themed letter opener or something.

I do not, nor have I ever will care about sports or anything sports-related.

Seriously. I'm quite certain there are far more pressing things happening in this world that Brett Favre retiring. It does not need to be headline news.

Malls Are Not Sexy

All I can say is, Tony, I hope you get a laugh out of this one...

So...some interesting things happened at work today.

There was this couple full on making out in our cafe. Laura went out there and told them to knock it off, but then they didn't and then he put his hand like, up her shirt. They were just...standing in the cafe groping each other like animals.

Then some lady came up to the kiosk all worked up. Why? Was her drink wrong? No. Did it have anything to do with an intense dislike for all things Starbucks? no. So why did she come up yelling and panting? There was a used condom on one of the black leather chairs, right next to where a questionable-looking guy was sleeping. Yes readers, you saw that right. A USED CONDOM. That's worse when my cousin's fellow employees found used condoms in their bathroom (Panera's - DAMN that was a good bagel haha). This was in the MIDDLE of a MALL. A MALL. Wow.

Then, close to closing time, we noticed another teenage couple groping each other on the couches directly in front of the kiosk. It looked like he was eating her face. Seriously. And he was the skinniest, ugliest boy ever. She wasn't exactly a looker herself either... (I thought it was two boys...haha. They just had the same haircut. I think that makes it worse.)

What I'm trying to get at is, malls aren't sexy. Public sex can be hot, but for God's sake, in the middle of a VERY public mall? Go into the fitting rooms at the Gap or Victoria's Secret or something. Not only that, but if you're so preoccupied with sex that you cant possibly bear to find a more secluded location to dry hump...don't go to the mall in the first place. Nobody wants to see two 15 year olds slobber all over each other. Nobody.

Ew.