Recluse

If I seem distant from everybody lately, I promise, I'm not mad, depressed, or anything else. I'm just taking some time from everybody else to focus on me. Not in a selfish way. In a self-promoting way.

It has come to my attention (actually it's always been in the back of my mind, but I was reminded of it in stark truth) that lately I've been putting on a happy face and going with the flow. I have 3 jobs that are a huge waste of time (to me). I'm just stuck in this cycle of going with the flow and it needs to stop. I need to take a step back and meditate on what's important to me, what I'm worth, and what I can do to get to where I need to be.

I need to stop basing my life decisions around what other people think I should be doing, or how other people may react. I'm learning that those that make a big deal out of my decisions don't need to be a part of my decisions, and those of my friends that don't freak out on me, are the ones that will stick around no matter what.

Above all, I need to learn to love myself. I'm really working hard to get to that point. Right now, I'm realizing that who I am now and who I want to be are not the same person, and I'm also working hard to become that person. I'm making some changes to my lifestyle, and hopefully that will add to my self-love experience.

So to anyone I brush off, please, be patient. I just need time in my chrysalis to become the beautiful butterfly I always knew I'd be.