Suck

Today sucks.

I slept in and didn't get to the restaurant to apply for a hosting position. I checked my email and got rejected from MORE applications. My cat hates me all of a sudden. I have to move back home and live with my crazy family in a former pantry. My mom admitted she doesn't really want me back home because she knows I don't get along with anybody in the house. I'm probably going to have to give up my cat. My screen is bleeding even more pixels, and guess what, I can't afford the repair. I can't even afford to pay for the 3 parking tickets and a new parking permit. I can't afford rent, either. Or food.

When I move to my mom's house, all I'll be able to take with me will be enough clothes to fit in a very small sterilite cart. Everything else has to be put into storage. Everything. All of my books, papers, my furniture, 90% of my clothes. I might not even be able to keep my bed. I have no idea where I'm going to store anything. There's a chance my aunt has all of her things at my grandma's and that grandma will say no. So then I'm fucked. I don't know what to do anymore. I've dug myself a deep hole and I don't know how to get out, I can't even breathe anymore for lack of oxygen in this grave.

The Boy says that we both have it bad, that he has to live with a friend and pay a small ammount of rent. He never lived with my parents. He doesn't understand that for my own sanity I cannot go back there. He doesn't get that I don't have a happy family relationship with them at all. We only get along because I don't live there. He's going to get a room the size of my old bedroom. Not huge but not tiny either. My room is the same size as a full size mattress and a sterilite cart. Literally. Nothing else would fit. I'm talking wall to wall. Not to mention it doesn't have an air vent, collects dust like a swiffer, and has the very drafty entrance to the attic. Jail cells are larger and more comfortable. Not to mention I'll be the tenant, not the daughter, and I have a strong feeling I'll get a curfew as well. So as not to wake anyone. This is possibly the worst situation I could face.

Fuck it.

I just want to go back to bed.

Actually, since I don't work until 5 today, I think I will.