Suck

Today sucks.

I slept in and didn't get to the restaurant to apply for a hosting position. I checked my email and got rejected from MORE applications. My cat hates me all of a sudden. I have to move back home and live with my crazy family in a former pantry. My mom admitted she doesn't really want me back home because she knows I don't get along with anybody in the house. I'm probably going to have to give up my cat. My screen is bleeding even more pixels, and guess what, I can't afford the repair. I can't even afford to pay for the 3 parking tickets and a new parking permit. I can't afford rent, either. Or food.

When I move to my mom's house, all I'll be able to take with me will be enough clothes to fit in a very small sterilite cart. Everything else has to be put into storage. Everything. All of my books, papers, my furniture, 90% of my clothes. I might not even be able to keep my bed. I have no idea where I'm going to store anything. There's a chance my aunt has all of her things at my grandma's and that grandma will say no. So then I'm fucked. I don't know what to do anymore. I've dug myself a deep hole and I don't know how to get out, I can't even breathe anymore for lack of oxygen in this grave.

The Boy says that we both have it bad, that he has to live with a friend and pay a small ammount of rent. He never lived with my parents. He doesn't understand that for my own sanity I cannot go back there. He doesn't get that I don't have a happy family relationship with them at all. We only get along because I don't live there. He's going to get a room the size of my old bedroom. Not huge but not tiny either. My room is the same size as a full size mattress and a sterilite cart. Literally. Nothing else would fit. I'm talking wall to wall. Not to mention it doesn't have an air vent, collects dust like a swiffer, and has the very drafty entrance to the attic. Jail cells are larger and more comfortable. Not to mention I'll be the tenant, not the daughter, and I have a strong feeling I'll get a curfew as well. So as not to wake anyone. This is possibly the worst situation I could face.

Fuck it.

I just want to go back to bed.

Actually, since I don't work until 5 today, I think I will.

Life

Okay, I haven't blogged in forever because my internet usually dies after like 5 mins of use. So I'm going to try to bust this out before the 'net dies again for who knows how long.

As things stand right now I'm planning on moving back home for a while, provided that The Boy can take the cat with him to his friend's house. This is just because we can't afford our current apartment, and I have a ton of debt that I need to resolve before I can think about spending more money on sec. deposit and rent. So I'm going to be moving back home to get on top of debt and things and to save money for moving out again.

My mom said that she's going to charge me rent but my dad isn't too enthusiastic about it. So if I'm lucky I'll be able to stay rent free for a while to pay off stuff. I just have to find a place to store my apartment full of furniture. Probably my grandmother's basement.

I'm going to spend some time with my cousin today, because she's moving back to G-Town soon and there won't be much opportunity to spend time together. Everything that we do is on the eastside where she currently lives, so it's not a problem for me to drive there and hang out, then come back to Stallis. But I can't drive to G-Town, pick her up, drive to downtown MKE, hang out, drive back to G-Town, then back to Stallis. WAY too much gas, even for The Geo. (Yes, it is THE Geo.)

So that's pretty much my life right now. I'm going to apply for a hostessing position at Carrabba's in Brookfield, so maybe that will help my situation out a little more.

Okay, I have to go before the internet dies again. Love!

Ani

I'm listening to Ani Difranco, whom I haven't listened to in a long time. I miss the music. I actually got called Ani today, which made my day.

Today was also my orientation at the Humane Society, I'm really excited to start volunteering. Since I want to work with the wildlife program, my training won't be until August 16. Since that's a month away and I want to start now, I'm going to help out in the laundry room for the time being until I can start in the wildlife dept.

Not much else is going on at all. Life is boring. At least I have Rorschach to keep me company :)

Sloppy

Tonight I ran into a friend of mine that I haven't really talked to since junior year of high school. We went to Starbucks and ended up just chatting for a couple of hours. It was really nice because I had always liked her but we lost touch. But while we were catching up, I realized something.

Everyone my age is either A) Pregnant, B) Getting married, C) Has kids, or D) Some combination of the above.

Which makes me really really glad that I'm not A,B,C or D. I mean, the most tolerable of those would be getting engaged or something, but let me tell you, it would be a long engagement. And as far as procreation...hell no.

This is going to sound bad but thank goodness I know better.