Move

I guess not many of my friends know this, but I was actually born and spent a good chunk of my kidhood (read: elementary school) in Miltown, not Stallis. I used to live on the East Side, right at the heart of the Brady conglomerate. For cheaper rent, and a better public school system, my parents decided to move to Stallis, where I shared a room with my little brother, to their current residence (also Stallis). And then, because I was already going to school just a few blocks away from my parents', I didn't even think of looking for a place outside of this lovely city/suburb. Besides, The Boy works not too far away...and it just made sense to stay.

So does it make me weird for really not feeling like I belong here? Am I a freak for not really relaxing or getting that "home" feeling until I'm downtown, near the University, near the Lake? I feel like that's where I really belong. I can really imagin settling there, finding permanent work there, going to school there, the whole 9 yards. I want to move there when my lease is up.

Trouble is, The Boy hates it down there. He made it clear that if I want to move there, it would most likely be on my own. He also made it clear that if I were to somehow persuade him to move downtown, he'd spend all of his time in Stallis anyways. I mean, I understand he works all the way out here. It would be a bit of a drive. So am I totally selfish for still wanting to push the issue? Come on cyberspace, I need your advice.

On the one hand, I acknowledge his feelings on the subject: he hates being around college students (or really people in general, but that's another arguement), he hates driving downtown, and he would either have to drive all the way out past the Hwy to get to work or relocate (which, given today's economy and the fact that hes only qualified for manufacturing jobs, isn't really an option).

On the other hand, we've already established that I'm going to be the one to go to school, get a degree in something major, and have a real career. So, isn't it fair for me to get the benifit of living near school? I don't drive, and frankly, I barely feel comfortable taking the city bus to the mall to work, in Stallis. I mean, people are getting shot and beaten and robbed on buses. I don't want to have to take one at night, all the way down into that area. (Yeah, I know, you don't want to wait for a bus or take a bus but you want to LIVE there. I feel more comfortable if I'm walking to and from school at say, a ten or fifteen minute walk. I'm constantly moving. Not standing on a corner for Gods know how long, and then sitting on a bus for at least a half hour. No thanks.) Not only all of that, but that's where I feel at home.

Which I suppose brings me to the other arguement, the possibility that The Boy and I might decide that living together isn't in either of our best intrest. Does that mean that our relationship is doomed? I mean, if we live together, and then stay dating but live apart, that's like regression. What happens when one of us (read: I) want to get more serious, and perhaps seek a real commitment? I just don't know. I'm feeling a little lost on all of this.