The Last Installment

Here's the third part of my description assignment. Sorry its taken me so long to get up here. Life sort of got in the way.

#3. Describe yourself, standing in front of a mirror, at age eighty.

It’s been eighty years. Hard to believe. Time seems to have passed in the blink of an eye. Just yesterday I was 18, happily going about life and love. Standing in front of the mirror, its hard to believe that the reflection staring back at me is the same person as that 18 year old girl.

My hair is completely gray now. Sure, I had a few strands back then, but now I’ve got a full head of long, silver hair. I vowed I would never the short ‘old lady’ haircut, and now I keep my hair plaited in a French braid, the ends reaching my lower back. My skin has lost its firmness, and I have wrinkles around my eyes.

My eyes themselves seem a little less clear. The little green tints are less visible, and the color seems to be just a dull brown. The skin on my jaw sags, just like the rest of the family. As I lift my hands to pull the skin taught, I notice that even they seem to have gained many little wrinkles and grooves. My veins are visible through my loose skin. My arms sag a little as well. Maybe I should have taken that yoga class last spring after all.

The rest of me hasn’t changed much. Even my fashion sense hasn’t changed. Here I am, wearing jeans and a t-shirt, at age 80. So inappropriate, according to the ladies I pass in the café. According to them I should be wearing only dresses and orthopedic shoes. I still wear Birkenstocks. Not to mention the tattoos.

When I was 19, I got my first tattoo, a small peace sign on my left hip. Then, at age 21, I got the palm-sized raven design in the middle of my back. The four leaf clover on my left ankle came at age 30. I never did take the ring out of my left nostril either. I’ve always loved being a bit of a rebel.

I turned around in the mirror, letting the blue and purple peasant dress I was wearing twirl around my bare ankles. My granddaughter nodded her approval at the garment and I smiled. Maybe being 80 wasn’t so bad after all.

You Know What I Don't Like?

I really, REALLY, don't like it when people assume that I can't do things because I'm sort of new.

You know what, I'm a really damned fast learner. I could read, fucking READ, in preschool. I'm not even talking like, one or two words at a time, or I that I knew the alphabet. I could read actual books. In fucking preschool. At the age of 4. Do not assume that I'm slow.

I don't care how long I've been doing something. Chances are, I know EXACTLY what I'm doing. I tend not to do things I'm unfamiliar with. Sure, it may take a little while for me to get things down pat, but I'm talking a matter of days here. Weeks at most. It will not take me 5 months to learn this shit. Seriously.

I'll admit, I'm shy, and evasive. I avoid doing things I'm not totally comfortable with. But I still know what I'm doing when I have to do it.

It pains me to watch someone "teach" me something...the wrong way. I hate it when people try to correct me when I'm doing something right. I hate it when people try to correct me just to make themselves feel better. Because seriously, if you can't figure out that the only ingredient in whole bean coffee is coffee beans...don't try to correct me on the subject.

I'm also pretty damned sick of people not wanting me around. No, that's worded wrong. I'm sick of people acting like they don't want me around. Most of the time, in a situation like that, I don't want to be around you either. So just get off your high horse and deal with it like any other person would have to. Don't try to get me to go away by sending me on menial errands, on the basis that you can do something else more quickly. I bet you can't.

I'm sorry, general blog audience. I'm just a little annoyed right now.

Sabbatical

Wow. I haven't been home for three days because I got into a fight with my parents. I was crashing at Eric's. (Not sleeping on a park bench or anything...brrrr). I won't go into that right now, but here is the long-awaited second part of my assignment.

#2: Describe a comfortable place, real or imagined.

It is Saturday morning. I’m sitting in the kitchen, slowly sipping a cup of Passion tea. The slightly tantalizing aroma reaches my nostrils and I inhale deeply. The warmth of the cup feels good against my fingers, and I am glad for a nice hot morning tea as I gaze out the window at rows of icicles.

The morning paper rustled as I picked it up, scanning the newspaper headlines for something of interest. As usual, I skip ahead to the comics and giggle to myself as I read them. Moving along, I peruse the metro section, the classifieds, and the booklets of coupons that had fallen out of the center, spilling across my kitchen table. I glance at the clock, sighing and standing up. I paused to yawn and stretch, making my way to the refrigerator.

The soft cool breeze rustled the bottoms of my pajama pants as I opened the fridge, reaching in and plucking out two eggs. I shut the door and turned around, moseying over to the stove. The skillet had been heating while I sipped my tea, so it was nice and hot, perfect for frying eggs. I tapped the eggs softly on the side of the pain, holding my breath, hoping to not get any shells in the pan this time. Satisfied that there were no shell fragments in my soon to be delicious fried eggs, I exhaled and tossed the eggshells into the trashcan to my right.

The eggs cooked nicely, and the heat from the pan was comforting. After the eggs were ready, I flipped them, waited a few moments, and slid them onto a waiting plate. Eggs can’t be eaten without salt and pepper, so I grabbed the two shakers from the top of the stove, and set them on the side of the plate. A little bit of rummaging in the cupboard to my left would produce a small tray, with handles built into the sides. I loaded up my plate of eggs, and salt and pepper shakers, and set the tray down on the table. I had forgotten all about the orange juice.

After retrieving a glass from the cabinet, I moved back to the fridge and poured a glass of orange juice, setting that carefully next to the plate of eggs on the tray. Smiling I picked everything up and carefully walked across the apartment to the bedroom. Peeking inside, I could tell that Eric was still asleep. Nothing I’d done in the kitchen had disturbed him. I smiled even wider and slipped into the room.

I set the tray down on the bedside table and walked around the bed to the window. I opened the curtains and Eric groaned. Bright sunlight spilled into the room, pooling on the bed and cascading down to the floor. I leaned over to give him a kiss, softly telling him that I’d made him breakfast. He smiled at me and sat up.

I brought the tray to him, setting everything down carefully on his lap. Then I slowly crawled into bed next to him, moving carefully so as not to disturb any of the food on the tray. He started to eat and I reclined next to him, combing my fingers through his slightly tangled hair. Settling back into the soft down pillows, I closed my eyes and smiled, thinking to myself that life could not get any better. I was blissfully comfortable here in bed with the sun shining in the window, the love of my life happily eating the breakfast I’d prepared for him, and of course, the comforter tucked comfortably around my feet.

zzzZZZzzz

I'm too tired to do the whole description blog thing. I'll do it tomorrow. Sorry to anyone that was actually going to read it.

Descriptions

I should be cleaning my room right now. To be fair, I cleaned out the entryway, and the desk, and part of the area next to my bed. We'll call it half clean. I also have three descriptions due for creative writing. As promised, I'm going to post them here. But for the purpose of suspense, I'm going to post one every day for the next three days. Here's the first assignment.

1. Describe a piece of furniture, a room, or an object that has a history, a special meaning. Use an extended analogy, describe it physically, and tell its story.

I had in my lap a book. Not just any book. This book was large, about the size of my geometry book, except the binding could be measured at about two inches. The cover was thick and bound with leather, the pages sewn in by hand. The leather was worn down and soft, the evidence of decades of handling. A beautiful Celtic knot was embossed into the leather on the front cover, and shiny flecks evidenced that the knot was once ornamented with gold leaf.

As I opened the book, I noticed that the paper was very brittle. It was parchment paper, its golden brown color showing its age. The smell of old paper, not unlike the scent of a library, wafted out of the binding, tickling my nose. I ran my fingers delicately over the first page, noting the soft swishing sounds my fingers made as I smoothed down the paper. The same Celtic knot was printed on the very first page, in dark, heavy ink.

I began turning the pages very gently, smoothing down each paged as it was turned. The artwork in the book was beautiful, starting with woodcuts of fairies and goblins, progressing to stunning hand drawn renditions of mermaids and sea serpents. Each paged crackled like leaves as I explored the book. The pages alternated between artful designs and illustrations and beautiful script. Skimming over the delicately scribed words, the book’s history began to reveal itself.

It had been handed down in my family for nearly a century. One of my relatives, a strong-willed woman by the name of Elizabeth started the tradition of writing down her herbal remedies for things. Her daughter, Penelope, inherited the book and began to write down simple little spells and things she’d learned from her mother. As the book was passed down, mother to daughter, something new was added. Penelope’s great-granddaughter, Victoria, began the drawings. Victoria’s daughter recorded every ritual she ever conducted. And so it passed, all the way down to my mother.

I had seen the book on display in our living room, set up on an ornate bookstand acquired somewhere along the line. I’d run my fingers over it much as I was doing now. There was always a familiar feel in the leather, something that made me feel safe. Every woman in my family had contributed to this book, and now it was mine. I softly closed its covers, and stood. I placed the book on the same stand it had rested on for at least two decades, and smiled proudly. I had a lot of writing to do.

Hot or Not?

I'm gonna share a little secret with you guys.

I got on hotornot.com and click to view women only. Then I rate the girls that I know don't have a high rating (a little overweight, bad photo, etc) as perfect 10s. I rate the obvious hotties with the lowest score possible. But then I get angry because I'm only a 6, apparently.

I think that yeah, people should be comfortable with their bodies and such. I also think there is a major problem with body image these days.

I'm also in the camp that has a very negative self-image. I'd like to be told once, just once, that I'm a perfect ten. (Without it being a joke).

But at the same time, I don't want to pose half naked in front of a camera just to get a comment like that.

I just want someone to think I'm pretty. Some random stranger. I want to be the one hit on when I go out with my friends. I'm sick of people telling me that my best friend is "so hot", I hate when guys ask if she's single. I feel like the freaking ugly duckling when guys do that. I guess I can't blame them...but still. Its enough to kill a good mood.

I also hate when I'm feeling really good about how I look, and then some girl that's obviously way more attractive stands like, right next to me. Especially when they're tall, thin, and perfect in every way.

Ugh.

Fixed!

Yes, that's right, I managed to fix my hunk 'o junk sewing machine! I posted the problem on craftster and someone was able to point me in the right direction. I'm so glad because that means I don't have to shell out a bunch of cash for repair or a new machine entirely. I think I'm going to trick Eric into taking me to Joann's today so I can pick up a pattern and some fabric and make myself a dress I saw on craftster. Then again....I sort of have no money so maybe that'll wait.

I did get my taxes back though. So I should be able to afford stuff like the phone bills and saving for rent/food/etc. Fun times.

In other news, I think this year is going to be my best year yet. For one, I'm not in high school, and I really don't have to deal with the stupid high school drama anymore. I'm way above it. Even when I run into someone that I know bears animosity towards me, I can just rise above. Its such a great feeling, to be able to do that.

I also lost 6 pounds so far. And while that may not seem like a lot, I did stop my "diet". I was counting calories for a while and I was getting really obsessive about it, being glad when I'd only consumed maybe 500 cals a day. Then I started to feel week and tired all the time so I decided I had to stop that. So now I'm just eating healthier, everything in moderation. No pastries at work, light frappuchinos, stick to tea and water at home. So far it seems to be working.

Eric and I had probably the best valentines day ever. He came over and gave me a box of chocolates, with Across The Universe hidden inside. Then we went out to dinner at Bella's (originally supposed to be African Hut, but they were closed). Then we grabbed some starbucks beverages, and went back to his place to watch the movie. It was really nice, and special. We rarely have time to do stuff like that.

I think I'm finally starting over. I feel so very refreshed. All the negative things in my life seem much smaller. I'll be moving out this summer, and then in August I'll be moving down to Iowa for schoolin'. I'm just really loving being alive right now. :)

So Many Chores. Not Enough Money.

Well, my sewing machine took a big fat shit on me today. So I guess I won't be getting to use that awesome tutorial to hem my jeans. So I'd like to take the time I would be spending happily sewing out my heart's desire to list all the things I need to get done. (Y'know, instead of actually doing them. Here goes.

Short-term goals for (hopefully) saturday:

• Pick up my guitar from the music store.
  
• Convince Eric to come over and help me do my laundry (because I'm terrified of my basement and can't afford to do it at a laundromat)
• Get my room clean and (FINALLY) organized...even though I could use a bit more organizational things.

Long-term goals that need to get done in a few months (mostly involving money)

• Pay off tuition (as soon as I get the bill)
• Get my sewing machine fixed OR
• Buy a new sewing machine if the old one costs more than $40 to fix. The damn thing only cost $70 to begin with.
• Pay off Sprint
• Pay off T-Mobile
• Somehow manage to save up $1,000 to move out of the house

I need a higher paying job.

It Counts!

This is going to be a bit of a rant. So if you don't want to read through my rant, stop now. You've been warned...

I just want to say that just because I'm a girl, it doesn't mean my opinion does not count. Sorry guys, but there's a good chance I do actually know what I'm talking about. I'm not one to blather on about something that I have no clue about. Also, stop assuming that just because I have a vagina, I can't POSSIBLY know something about power tools, or how to build something, or possibly how to fix something. Yeah, I'm not a carpenter. But I can build a desk.

Just because I'm small does not mean my opinion does not count. I'll admit it, I'm only 4'10 (and three quarters of an inch!). So freaking what? I don't know how it ever got into a person's head to discredit another person simply based on physical height.

Just because I'm your daughter does not mean my opinion does not count. Sorry mom and dad, but I'm not some little girl anymore. I'm an adult now, with thoughts and ideas all my own. And hate to break it to you, but none of them coincide with your ideas. This is going to come off as conceited, but I think I know a little more about the world we live in than you do. College really does count for something. So does finishing high school. Or not using drugs. While I may not have experienced some of the things regarding "real life" that you have, I am still intelligent. Its not as if you raised me anyways. Thanks for nothing.

And end rant. Sorry. I needed to vent my frustrations.

Errands, Errands

Today I did a ton of running around. I was awoken (awakened?) by a woman I work with asking if I could come in and work earlier. Since I had like 3,000 errands to run, I said no.

So I get up, get ready, and wait for the boy to pick me up. We get down to southridge only for me to realize that yesterday was not payday. We get our checks his coming Friday. No big deal. The boy and I waited for mom, so that I could head over to T-Mobile, to switch the contract over. Everything went smoothly, my bank account is $250 lighter, and I got this.

I must say, I really do enjoy my new phone. And yeah, I'll admit I only got that specific one because it looks cool, and does all the stuff I want it to. not to mention the camera it has is really really good. Better than my digital camera. Great indoor photos.

Anyways, after the phone stuff, we went over to wal-mart, returned some stuff, and then headed over to Sprint. I had to politely bitch them out because they'd messed up the bill 6 times in the last 8 months of service I've had with them. I'm hoping I'll like T-mobile much better, because, quite frankly, ending a contract is fucking expensive.

Then we headed over to the music store, so I could have my guitar restrung. I actually DO know how to do it myself, but I don't have the tool to get the pegs off. I also needed to buy strings anyways so...it all works out. They did look at me like I was retarded or something though. Like "wow...you can't string a guitar? pfffft.", which really kinda pissed me off.

Then work. Oh dear gods it was busy today. I nearly dropped dead. Not to mention both Dean was also sick, though admittedly, worse off than I am. I'm actually feeling okay right now, but that's probably because I'm sitting and not working. I am hungry though.

Now I've got to go about the grueling task of setting up my contacts list in my new phone. This is going to suck. A whole lot.

I Called it.

I'm sick. My throat hurts, my body aches, and I've got a headache. Not to mention its cold as a witch's tit here. I'm just sitting in bed watching Moonlight, staying warm under the covers.

On another note, I got my phone bill today. As per usual, Sprint screwed it up again. My bill was unusually low. Why? Because they didn't put the texts on my bill. AGAIN. For the THIRD time. So I think tomorrow is when I'm going to go into Sprint and have a word with them, then go to T-Mobile and have my service switched.

I don't really have much else to blog about, mostly because I feel like poo. I'm like anti-creative when I feel like poo. I'm trying to blog everyday though, so...yeah. This is my boring life.

Under the (inclimate) Weather

Today we got 18 inches of snow dumped on us. I got a call this morning from my manager telling me that the mall was closed, so don't come in to work. Perfect. I figured this was the best time to get stuff cleaned up and start re-organizing some stuff. Well...I didn't. It's too cold to get out from under the blankets. Also, I'm starting to feel sick. I knew it was coming, because I've had three canker sores for about a week now. Just as they're starting to heal up...everything else starts to hurt. Clockwork.

Anyways, I sort of promised a "things that bother me about the bus" rant.

1. Having to stand outside to wait for the bus. This isn't so bad when the weather is nice, but given extreme lack of covered bus stops, it really sucks in the rain/snow. Or even when its just super cold.

2. Rude bus drivers. They don't listen when you tell them not to give you a transfer, they don't return your friendly hello. Then they start going as soon as you've paid, so you have to sort of wobble your way into a seat.

3. Crazy people that ride the bus. Now, the ones I'm talking about are the scary people that just shout expletives at themselves (and you). Or the ones that tell me about the Bible and how wonderful their God is. Or the people that ask to borrow my phone, and when I refuse, harass me about it. (Its my phone, my money, and frankly, you don't look sanitary).

4. People who do not give up the handicapped seating for actual handicapped people, or elderly people. That's just not right.

5. Conversely, older/handicapped people that walk right on by the seat I just gave up for them. I was being nice. Now I just feel like a jerk.

6. People that I don't know sitting next to me. I'm not really one to save a spot with a sweater or bag, but really, don't sit next to me unless you have to. This is because most people that take the bus smell really bad.

7. Bus drivers that go past your stop. You pull the cord. The stop requested sign lights up. You're nearing the stop, so you go to stand just behind the yellow line....and the bus driver keeps going. They are then rude to you when you politely say "Um...that was my stop". Seriously. It's your JOB to stop when the passengers pull the string. It's my job to give you things to drink when you're thirsty and pay for a drink. I can't just not give it to you.

And there we have it. 7 reasons why I hate taking the bus anywhere. I really need to get on getting a license.

I'm going to curl up and watch a movie now, maybe chat with my sweetiepie. Peace everyone.

February Resolutions

Everyone knows that New Year's resolutions never stick. That's why I make my resolutions in February/March. And here they are:

1. The cliche lose weight resolution. Seriously though, my goal is 110 lbs by August. I've got plenty of time. No need to rush unhealthily. (Side note, according to my spellchecker, "unhealthily" is a word, but "spellchecker" is not).

2. Become more Earth-friendly. Stop using plastic bags, reduce the amount of waste I produce, and conserve as much energy as possible. Also, recycle. I've got a bunch of reusable bags with cute slogans on them, I'm covered there. As far as waste, so far I've stopped using the to go cups at work, and instead I use the for here cups. I mean, I'm not going anywhere, why bother?

3. Save money so that I can move out in June. This is a biggie. I need at least $1,000. Right after this entry, I think I'm going to work out a budget and finances and stuff. The only big cost coming up in my future is new phones. That's manageable though, with our tax money.

Part of #3 ties into #2: I'm going to purchase as much as I can from thrift stores/second hand shops. This includes books. Half price books will not only save money, but its like recycling in a way. Same goes for the thrift stores. I've also vowed not to buy any more fabric till I weedle down my stash.

I was going to post a rant about what I hate about people on buses, but I think I'll save that for tomorrow. Peace everyone.