Ramblings

I suppose I know its time to update the good 'ole blog when people start calling me out on lack of updates in conversation. I suppose the reason I haven't updated in a while is that nothing horrible has happened in the last few days. That sounds awful, but I've noticed I really only blog when something happens that I feel the need to bitch about.

So, having just finished my pint of ice cream (which is ALWAYS a mood-booster), I'm struggling to find a topic to discuss.

Of course, there's a ton I could choose from. Politics, religion, culture, food. There's a plethora of things to talk about and to discuss and to debate. In fact, I had some really good discussions with two of my friends tonight. But right now, I got nothin'.

Actually, my life is relatively boring as of late. The most exciting thing going on is the redecoration of my bedroom. I'm pretty revved up about that actually. I decided to go with a brown and green theme. My sheets and curtains are chocolate brown, and I plan on purchasing a new lime green comforter, probably from Target. I love Target. And I found some really neat removable wall decals in the shape of bamboo. They're a tiny bit pricey (about $40 for the set) but it would make the room look SO much better. Especially since I don't have a headboard. I also want to find a bed skirt, because I hate that people can see my box spring. Its like having your undies showing. Ick.

Now the only thing left to do is organize my stuff. Which trust me, is a huge endeavor. I've got a lot of things that I hold on to for the sake of holding on to. Every time I clean my room I end up with a box for goodwill. Mostly clothes I'll never wear again. Actually, maybe tonight I'll go through all my clothes. Anything I haven't worn in a year gets tossed. Then maybe The Boy won't get so upset when I want to buy new clothes, ha. But of course, there's always one thing that I regret giving away, this last go around was my blue button down shirt. Yeah, I never wore it, but what happens if I need to get my hair done for something? I don't have a button up shirt. I suppose, I could get a new one that actually fits. But who does the logical thing? I mean really.

Also, just a quick question, who eats salad with a knife? I mean, who cuts their greens? Just take a big mouthful. Propriety? Pffft.

Well now I actually DO want to go through my closet and sort my clothes. Maybe I'll make room for all of the laundry I have to get done tomorrow.

Happy trails, or, , or . Haha.

Work

I don't think I've ever been this excited to go to work. Its weird, thinking of going back to something so familiar after I've been gone for just over a month. But I'm happy to be doing something with my time and I'm happy to be working with some really awesome people again.

Boss Lady's wedding was soo beautiful. And the reception was gorgeous, and a ton of fun. It was a the Wisconsin Club, which is this beautiful building downtown. It was super fancy too, and I joked with the server about the utensil setup.

It was also really nice to get to hang out with people outside of work. It's like, you can know someone so much based on the work they do and how well you interact while doing that work. Then your boss goes and gets hitched and you get to see all those people outside of that work environment and really, it was just a blast. How many people can say they did the chicken dance with their bosses?

Then yesterday I went to the Mabon festival, which as usual was fun. The only problem I had was that for the ceremony space, hay bales were used for decoration, and I'm allergic to them. It was fine in the morning when we were setting up, but as the day wore on it just got worse and worse for my nose. So, I ended up bailing and coming home for a nap before my brothers came over for a little celebration. It was really nice, since I don't get to see them very often.

Speaking of my nose, I have to get to the piercer today to get my stud replaced with a plastic plug. I didn't expect to be back so soon, so I'm wondering if they'll even do the replacement. I suppose I could lie and say I need an MRI done, but I don't want to have to do that.

Well, Zen is going to be here any minute so I suppose I'd better get dressed.

Happy trails.

Life

Lately I've been in a sort of funk. I think its because I'm pretty much spending my time sitting here and doing nothing. I'm certain that I'll feel better soon, now that I have a full weekend and I start work again on Monday.

I can't believe its already time for Boss Lady's wedding! I'm looking forward to it, because I miss seeing everybody and it just seems like a pleasant note to start off on. The Boy didn't want to come with me so I'm dateless, but I don't really care. Anyways, that's going to be my Saturday.

Sunday, I'm going to head up to the Mabon festival at the park. I don't know why, but it seems that fall is really my season to get back into being involved int he community and going to festivals and such. There are a couple workshops that I'm really looking forward to attending, so as long as I can get there I'll be golden.

And finally, I get to start work again on Monday. As much as I complained, I acually miss all the crazy people and the fun people and my co workers and everyone.

The Boy's birthday is coming up too. I can't believe he's going to be 20. That seems really old to me for some reason (don't ask, I don't know). I haven't decided if I'm going to make him a cake, as I have the sneaking suspicion I'm going to be competing for his time on his actual birthday. Well, that may give me enough time to come up with a good idea for a cake. I'll have to look on craftster.

Oh well, nothing big is happening in my life lately so I guess I don't have much to write.

Happy trails.

Home Pt. 2

Well, now that I'm settled its only fair that I update everyone on life in my universe.

First off, I start work again on Monday, which I'm really happy about. Life is pretty sedentary right now, and I've got way too much free time on my hands. Good for cleaning my desk, bad for my mental health.

I also decided I'm buying myself a macbook. So hopefully tomorrow or maybe Thursday I'll go to the apple store. I'm excited because I've heard really good things about them and in my experience they're really easy to use. Which is wonderful considering I'm awful with computers.

I'm taking a semester off of school, which I'm not pleased with, but I suppose there was no other option. To fill up my time and to prevent myself from brain atrophy, I'm self-teaching a few subjects in my free time. I kept my textbooks, so I'm still doing the intro to anthropology, and I figure I could teach myself basic Chinese with my book, my dictionary, and with a podcast. Why not? And I figure now is as good a time as any to learn guitar (finally, I've only had mine for five years).

I'm just really glad to be home. Sure, I miss being in class and some of the stuff I did down in Iowa, but I like being home so much more. I'll like it even more when I'm back in school. And work.

Home

I got another email today telling me that I could have a Perkins loan if I so chose, all I had to do was fill out a promisory note. But I think I already made my choice.

I'm going home.

I don't like it here. I don't like the landscape, the bugs. I don't like how every time I turn a corner I'm getting fucked over for SOMETHING. I don't like how someone peed on my door and thusly into my room one night. I don't like living in a dorm. I don't like being away from home (I was right, it hurts with every beat. Agonizing.) and I don't like the intense lonely feeling I have here.

I could be so much happier at home.

I used to say that I didn't really have a home, that because we moved around so much I could just pick up and go whenever, whereever. That was wrong. I know that now. I know where I belong. I don't feel akward or wrong at home. I feel wrong here.

I think that I came here because A) everyone wanted me to and B) I wanted to get in. I wanted to know that I could get accepted. Thrill of the chase. But it was wrong. The Boy thinks I'm a quitter, but I see it as admitting I made a needless mistake and moving on. Its time for me to move on. I don't belong here.

I'm not sure how everything will unfold in the next week or so. I feel so bad, because I know I'm going to dissapoint a lot of people. I feel bad because people were so proud of me (Though I would like to point out, I WAS in college last year too...) and because so many people were expecting so much.

I can't keep doing what others expect of me. I need to follow my heart. I need happiness. I'm making my self sick from the stress here. I need that to end. I liked my life. I was content, the last couple months. Minor grievances, but content. That's all I can ask of life. I need to stop trying to best and impress my cousins, because that's not who I am. I'm not any less of a person for choosing a different way to live my life.